this is like me LOVE As a tear rolled down my cheek, my heart in a knot, my brain confused I think. I feel lonely, un-loved, not needed nor wanted. As if the flame in my heart has been blown out by the people around me. The ones who say they love me don’t help, they don’t even notice the pain I’ve been going through. I have thought about killing myself a few times. Attempted even more, but something deep down is making me stop. Stop and think. Maybe there’s something, someone out there to help me, obviously I haven’t found it. As another tear comes out pushing the other one off my face smudging the words before me I look at the knife beside me. The tool I shall use to bring my pain and suffering to an end. The sharp, silvery object I’ve been staring at for the past half an hour, thinking. Will the cause of my death conflict pain on others? Will ending my pain my suffering, give many others pain? That is not what I want. But, I don’t want to carry on living for nothing. All mum wants to do is send me to boarding school to ‘help me with my problems.’ I bet she just wants to get rid of me. She doesn’t care about me. She loves me just as much as the next person. Dad hasn’t spoken to me since I started skipping lessons at school and my little sister cries every time she sees me. I have caused disturbance in my family maybe ending my life will make them happier. My friends. Ha friends. I thought they were friends. Through all my trouble no-ones called, no-ones visited not even text me. If that’s what you call friends then, my friends haven’t helped. But to me they’re not friends at all. The only person that has recognized my change of behavior is my boyfriend thomas. he’s awesome. he’s one of the few reasons I haven’t killed myself. I’m extremely surprised he’s still with me, he’s pretty enough to have any guy he wants and he wants me. I know he loves me and she’s probably the only person that does. I reach over and grab the knife and slide across my arm, making a new cut, but at the same time re-opening the ones I’ve made before. My arm now pouring with blood starts to sting. I wipe away the blood with my shirt and run my fingernail along the cut. This cut is deep, deeper than expected. As I wiped away the blood one more time I noticed how much blood was coming out. I have cut a vain. As I stare at my arm the door opens. “What are you doing here?” I yell. “I knew you would. Let my help you.” thomas grabbed the knife and stabbed my heart as he whispered in my ear “I never loved you”. I had never felt the pain in my heart until I heard him say those words. I guess I was wrong.