Where to start... I've been married now for going on nine years... I'm currently on my second marriage... I have two kids... I have been having secret rendezvous with gay men for several years now... sometimes regularly, sometimes not so much... I have to be discreet so sometimes it becomes hard to get free to meet with someone... a couple of months ago I tried to force myself to stop having gay thoughts and desires, but it didn't work... I even went as far as to set up a totally straight profile on Xpeeps, only approve women, and flirt with them constantly... it seemed to work for a while, but every time I see a pic of a hard cock on here I find it harder and harder to suppress my urges... finally I realized that when it comes to porn, I have a hard time getting off while looking at women or at straight sex... conversely I get instantly hard and excited and masturbation feels so much better when looking at hard, gay men or man-to-man fucking. That's me in a nutshell. At times I have liked to cross dress but I have never actually done this in the presence of another man. For the most part I am very straight acting and "manly". I prefer to be the bottom and I love dominant men.